My Spouse Just Asked for a Divorce – What do I do now?

We at Graham Family Law understand Divorce can be a difficult time for everyone involved.  Here’s a list of initial steps you might consider if faced with a spouse asking for a divorce.  We are here when you’re ready to consult an Attorney to understand your rights and obligations.

Stay Calm

Take a deep breath and try to remain composed. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed after your spouse asked for a divorce, but staying calm will help you make better decisions.  Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for emotional support and guidance.

Check County Filing

You will want to try to find out if your spouse has filed a divorce suit or not. Check with your county’s District Clerk to see if a divorce suit has been filed. Many counties offer online access to divorce filings or can provide information over the phone.  Bexar County’s online Civil Records search is located here.

If your spouse has filed a divorce, it is best to seek legal representation immediately. If a divorce has not been filed, you can have the option to file one and begin the process. Many attorneys offer consultations, so use that opportunity to obtain some preliminary information about your case.

If your spouse asked for a Divorce, you need to know what to do and not do before and during a Divorce:

1. Access to community accounts

   • Ensure you have access to all community estate accounts, such as bank, retirement, and insurance accounts. Often, only one party controls these accounts during the marriage, leaving the other party without necessary information during a divorce. Without a restraining order, one party could withdraw or move community funds. Create an inventory of the community estate at the beginning to monitor any account changes and money movement.

2. Do not make any large purchases after your spouse asked for a Divorce
   

   • Avoid making large purchases, like a new house or car, unless both parties mutually agree. Many clients believe that if someone files for divorce, they are considered separated. They believe that purchasing a house or car in their name means their spouse has no claim to the property.  This is not the case, as in Texas, we do not have legal separation. Anything you purchase during the divorce process will count as community property and the Court will divide it.

3. Removing the children from their place of residence

   • If your spouse has asked for a Divorce, this situation is typically one of the worst case scenarios.  Understand, without a court order, either party can move the children from their home city, state, or country. Many counties have a Standing Order preventing this, but it only applies once served. If a party relocates with the children, it can be harder to get a Judge to order them back, especially if they have established a new job and residence. When a party moves away from the other party with the children, it can make visitation and exchanges extremely difficult. One of the parties may end up with less time for visitation with the children or incurred expenses for travel. Consult an attorney to explore options for preventing a party from relocating with the children without mutual consent or a court order. If you wish to relocate with the children, be aware that the court might order you to return with them. This can create unnecessary turmoil for the parties and especially, the children.

4. Do not make any account changes after your spouse asked for a Divorce

   • Do not make any changes to any accounts until you confer with an attorney. Do not change any insurance coverage or make any beneficiary changes. If a reason for making changes exists, your attorney can obtain a temporary order hearing for you.  At a temporary order hearing, the participants can address any issues that need immediate attention.

5. Do I need temporary orders?

   • A temporary order hearing quickly addresses urgent issues during a pending divorce, such as custody, possession, child support, spousal support, debt payment, exclusive use of property, and restraining orders. In Texas, the court requires a divorce to be on file for 60 days before granting a final divorce. A temporary order is for parties that need an order at the beginning of a divorce. Keep in mind that a contested divorce can take many months or even years before reaching a final resolution.

6. Do not leave the marital residence

   • Though this may not be feasible in all situations, do not leave the marital residence without consulting an attorney or receiving a Judge’s order.  A temporary order hearing can address the exclusive use of the residence.  If you desire to reside in the marital residence while the divorce is pending and you leave, it may be more of a challenge for a Judge to order you to be able to go back. Additionally, if you leave the marital residence, you may still have to pay bills there such as the mortgage. Even if you rent an apartment for $2,500 a month, the Judge may still require you to pay the mortgage on the marital residence.

Your spouse asked for a Divorce – In conclusion

Your spouse asking for a Divorce doesn’t always mean the procedure will occur.  Ideally the Divorce can be prevented by open communication and marriage counseling.

Although these are just a few steps to prepare for divorce, it is important to consult an attorney to understand your options and receive advice on how your initial actions can impact all parties, especially the children.